Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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