At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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