Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
