you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
