Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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