Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
