D3 body, D1 cock
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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