DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
