so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
