i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I lost the right to judge tonight
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