we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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