I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
