Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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