But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
