So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
