I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's blow job season.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
