your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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