so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
