Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
