I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
