I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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