we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
