He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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