A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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