honey bunches of taint.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
