im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
