I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
