Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Are we still banned from the library?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
