very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
