We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
