i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
