hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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