I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
