I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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