just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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