You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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