Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
