Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
