just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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