Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm drive I can fine osifer
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
