U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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