He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
