Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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