i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
