I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
