He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
