I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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