White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
