She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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