One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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