Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Operation Purity has been aborted
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
