Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
